Not a pretty subject but one has to be practical about these things, because when nature calls, it can be a daunting prospect depending on where you happen to be. Especially when confronted with “facilities” of a more basic or primitive nature.

Before setting out – make sure you know what you’re asking for. In Europe for instance there’s the WC, lavabo, servizi, toletta or the crude but aptly named French pissoir. In the UK however it is mainly referred to as the loo (a polite term), or the bog (an impolite term). Public toilets are often attended by staff who keep the place clean (sometimes) but are not always very nice – hence they are sometimes referred to as the “Bog Trolls”.

In a clean facility with an attendant you will be expected to leave a gratuity. You will need good running shoes if you do not.

There are so called “Good Loo Guides” but in the end some sensible ground rules will be more practical.

• When abroad be prepared to pay for a clean toilet cabinet and washing facilities. If in an area of little other choice – be prepared to pay a lot! Those of you who have ever taken the Isle of Capri ferry from Naples will know what we mean.
• Always – always carry a supply of loo paper or tissues with you, along with hygienic cleansing towels and hand wipes.
• If you can smell the loo long before you arrive at it – it’s probably a good idea to look for an alternative.
• Toilets abroad are often unisex so leave the prudery at home.
• Don’t use any automated “super” loo unless you can read (and understand) the instructions beforehand. You must trust us on this.
• In the great outdoors? Clear up afterwards and watch out for poison ivy or biting insects along with camera bearing tourists.
• If in a city or town – the price of a coffee will often afford you use of a better class of loo in cafes or hotels. Almost all proper restaurants will have at least one public loo.
• As a general rule the loo facilities in northern Europe are the best, southern Europe the worst, and anything east of Italy fall into the OMG category.